broken glass

Do you ever just feel like a pile of broken glass strewn across the floor?  Searching for the glue to try to get back together again.






 

A discussion about loss

I would like to start a discussion board about how people have dealt with loss.  It can be any type of loss.  If you have any advice for anyone struggling with a loss please post a comment. 

My advice is basically that the pain will never completely go away.  They things that helped me the most at the worst times of my grief have been to find a way to vent.  Since I am an artist I would draw or paint to help vent my emotions.  If you can talk to someone it can help but I had a hard time talking at all.    

Another thing that helps is writing.  I started out writing in my journal, as if talking to an imaginary friend.  It will be a friend that is silent, cannot judge or say the wrong thing.  Now as you may know from my previous posts I am writing a memoir about the experience.  This has been instrumental in helping me remember what happened.  Some people may want to forget, but my biggest fear was that it would become unreal over time and feel like it was all a bad dream.  I want to remember it.  It has changed me as a person, and I want to embrace those changes and use them to make myself a better more appreciative person. 

So I had some computer issues.  Currently still working through them.  But I have it figured out and stabilized.  Been doing well on the writing of the book.  I have been researching self publishing a lot.  Its very interesting and I have found that there is not need to put any money into it, and the percentages of my royalties are good.  I really am not doing it for the money.  I just figured I'd do the research to see what the specs are. 

Mean while.  I went to Vincent's kindergarten graduation.  It was spectacular.   I hope that one day when I am finally teaching I will be able to help with the productions that the kids do.  They always seem to be so excited about them.  Last Christmas Vincent had one that I couldn't make it to, I couldn't afford taking the time off work and have money to give them a Christmas and I will forever regret it.  But I'm sure I've made up for it by now. 

Book progress

Ok, so I just finished chapter two.  I think it is coming along nicely.  I also found that it is easiest to publish a eBook instead of a paper book.  A lot of authors publish the eBook first and then if that goes well eventually publish the paper book.  Since this is my first book, I think this may be the best route for me.  But I will continue to research my options I still have plenty of time to decide since the book is not complete.  If anyone has real experience with publishing books please comment or email me with your advice. 

Jeffrey and I are both unemployed and I have to say it is the hardest thing to experience.  We both thought we would have call backs for jobs a few times and then never get them.  Sometimes it can really make you wonder what to do.  You are never sure which bills should be paid and which you can wait on.  Luckily we have a landlord that is very patient with us on rent.

But one of the main things that bothers me is Maya got some money for her birthday and it is so tempting to use it for bills.  I will never do it, but has anyone else ever had a temptation like that?

Hello world

So I thought it would be a nice way to pass time by writing on here again.  A lot has happened since my last post of course.  

I am unemployed and currently working on finishing up the final steps to get my teaching license. 

I love playing video games.  I did read a lot but for some reason at the moment I have readers block and cannot seem to get into a book. 

I am a Netflix addict, lol. 

But the main thing I find my self doing is running around the house trying to keep up with house chores. 

I would like to put some articles on here about a few things but I am not sure where to start.  One of the things I am currently working on is a memoir about my recent loss of a baby.  I think what I am going to do is try to finish it and look into it getting published.  Finishing it will be a challenge as it is very painful to recollect everything that happened.  Plus I have no idea how to get something published, guess I will get there when I get there.  But mainly I just want people to hear my story and for the women out there that have been through it t know that they are not alone.  I am putting things in the book that I have not even told my family or friends as well because I don't talk about it much at all.